25 Ways To Annoy A Yankee

Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.
When giving directions, finish with "It's right down yonder on the left ."

Talk R-E-A-L slow, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand
what they're saying.

When they talk about how great it is up north

tell them

"Delta's ready when you are."

Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball

Refer to every soft drink as a Coke

every motorcycle as a "Honder,"

Always order sweet tea and/or grits.

When they don't have it, raise a rucus.

Offer to send them a bottle of fresh air.

Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names

Frequently bring up the "War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War," always interject that "there was
nothing civil about it."
Address all males as "son" and all females as "little lady."

Correct their pronunciation of certain words.

For example: "It's "pee-can."

Put Tabasco on everything.

For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say, "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!,"

say "Well, I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of
Moon Pies. . .Banana ones.

Name all of your children "Bubba."

Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

"Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights .

"Carry" the kids to school

"Fetch" something.

Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin to do" something.

Tell them you don't have an accent; they do.

Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations.

Only use landmarks & ramble on when giving directions.

"Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn
left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think
they turned it into an Amoco.

Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." ..."You said left"

"Did I? Well, turn left there & follow it until you see a big fish on your left.

I remember when that fishused to be on the other side of town. . ."

Ask them if its still snowing up North.

Then tell'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

Call 'em a Yankee ;) Works ever time!

Author Unknown